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User blog:BlurayOriginals/Chillverse 1.0b Chapter 4: A Sonic '06-mas
In the world of 1.0b, Christmas was quickly coming. The children were singing and the adults were humming. All were anticipating what Christmas would bbring. Happiness, Egg Nog, presents and the ring. The ring of jingle bells on the reef of a door. Christmas truly was a season to be adored. ?????: But what if I don't celebrate Christmas?! Said some killjoy happy twit. A lot aren't even religious, for the presents is why they're in it. Some simply want cash and others the feeling of joy. Others want to bring happiness to the good girls and b oys. So to you I say, "Honoo the Pyrofox", for this Christmas special you're being banned to the box! Honoo: The box of what? Honoo whined. Honoo: Hey watch it you butt! Do you think of others feeling?! Because you just hurt mine! Anyway as I was saying you have been banned. Honoo: To? A PLACE IN WHICH WHINY BITCHES RESIDE! A DISEASE RIDDEN LAND. Honoo: What is this place?! Why Tumblr my cild you'll fit in fine! Like a lot of people there you're also a disgrace. And with a snap of my fingers, Honoo vanished from the snow. Off to Tumblr you go! Honoo: N-no! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... So--''' Honoo: ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... '''bruh, you can stop now Honoo: ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... I said annoyed. Such a shrill voice for a post pubescent boy. Ignoring the melodramatic idiot (simple, it's the mute button I'll hit)! *click* And so now we can begin our story proper: with this dick. ''' '''Our subject of today's episode is an unfortunate young man. It had been 8 years but forget he never can. The Christmas of '06 was quite the bad one. As one of his presents ruined all his fun. He banked his entire Christmas saving on this game and oh what a shame. If only he had known on that fateful day of December 12th when he got the game. Was it 'cause he was naughty or was this how it was meant to be? Allow me to tell you the Christmas tale of Jimmy Lynch and Sonic the Hedgeohg (2006) on PS3. After wasting all his money on this abomination of game, Jimmy was understandably up and cried out "Lame! What is this disgrace on Sonic's name?! Whatever, at least I have my family.", he hugged them with a glee. A few days after his parents died brutally. With this car accident nearly all joy in his life was thieved. He had one thing left to keep him going. His kind little sister warmed him against the snowing. Together Jimmy and "Asheley" (mispelling?!) embarked to the orphanage in Station Square. Jimmy: Ugh! This all just isn't fair! But life moved on and eventually so did the siblings. But they still hated the orphanage with a passion STILL burning. Eventually when he turned 18 eight years afer, he took his 16 year old sister as her guardian and began a new chapter. He and her lived together and enjoyed there new life!...not as husband and wife. (no oreimo) One day Jimmy got a visit at the door! Jimmy: (listening to music via headphones) JIMMY GOT A VISIT AT THE DOOR. Jimmy: (still jammin') Whatever. Ash take over, I was getting bored. (walks out of the room) Jimmy: (takes off headphones) Sucker... (opens the door) Doom: Hey guy. What's up? (he smiled the smile of a man, rotten to the core) Jimmy: (suddenly gets a monocle, gloves and a suit) Whom? Doom: I've gone by many names, but you may call me Doom. Asheley: (gets up off of the couch and stands in front of her bro) No, no, no! Now you know! At school all my friends fea that name! You're Doom the Dark Lord and you thrive off of pain! And misery and despair and all things that make people sad. Well not in my ciy! Get-- Doom: Calm down lad! Asheley: I'm a girl. Doom: And what about me! You act as though there's only one Doom in this world. How presumptuous of you! Asheley: Oh yeah... I'm sorry dude-- Doom: lol jk i'm the dark lord Asheley: (slams the door shut) EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE BOARDED! Doom: (breaks down door) Nice try kid! Jimmy: (guards his sister) What do you want? Doom: You hold a great power, that I'm willing to bid! Jimmy: (unsheathes his katana and gun) Well you can forget about it kiddo, you'll have to take me in a fight! Asheley: Please jimmy, don't engage in this plight! He'll feed off of your anger and turn it against you! Weren't you listening?! Jimmy: (but far from the house, he and Doom began distancing) Asheley: (sighs) Jimmy: So Doom, are you ready to die? Doom: Are you a main character? Jimmy: No, why? Doom: Simple if your name doesn't start and end with B... Jimmy: ? Doom: You have absolutely NO '''chance against me (teleports to Jimmy and delivers his gut a OHKO punch) Jimmy: (absolutely decimated, regurgitated his lunch) Asheley: No! Doom: Don't worry dear you won't miss the show! (vicious decks Ash--) '''And I'm back! The narrator has returned, and is done having his episode! But I've come to stop something that is against our code! We have to fade to black before Doom hits Ash! If we get caught hitting a girl the network will stop giving us cash! So now let's cut to our protags, shall we? As they remain trappped in Doom's super secret lair, unconcious and sleepy! Jimmy: (wakes up in an unlit room, arms chained to a chair, forced to hold an PS3 controller) ...I see where this is going... Doom: (smirks) The expression on your face really is showing. Jimmy: (looks like he sharted) Doom: Oh, don't be disheartened. Look, I even brought a little guest! Asheley: (chained up to a wall by shackles with a number "8" on her chest) Doom: After I'm done with you, I'll have my way with her, truly prove I'm a fiend! Jimmy: ...bruh, she's sixteen. Doom: And after giving such a face he punted her through the roof. He punted her so hard he almost broke her foot. Even evil has standards, and he was done with that. Unless you're 18+ absolutely NO tap. Asheley saw as she flew through the night the location of Doom's base it was in a forest just to the right. The right of Station Square which conveniently had, any location needed for our characters to fight the wicked and bad. And so she began to form a plan to save her big bro. She increased her speed and eylled triumphantly "TALLYHO!" Asheley: ...Why did I say that? Now we return to Doom and his lab rat. After kicking Asheley the lights went back off. Jimmy was left feeling up the controller and it made his heart weak and soft. Jimmy: (thinking to himself) This controller it's for PS3...could it be?! Is he making me...?! Suddenly on the wall in front of Jimmy, a square lit brightly. Jimmy thought to himself this must be a TV. He had to assume as the sudden light blinded him. He feared for his life as he was at Doom's whim, he heard a strange click then generic music. Jimmy: (thinks) No way this is '06, the music is the only thing in this game that didn't suck dick! Jimmy began to be able to see the TV and soon his heart lit with glee. Jimmy: (thinking) Aha! Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric! That also sucks dick but it doesn't hold a CANDLE to '06. Doom: lol gotcha (he said with a grin) You don't think I'd actually let you off that easy kid? He clicked a remote and soon the input changed from HDMI1 to HDMI2. Jimmy began to felt enraged he struggled but to no avail. Doom began to control him and Jimmy began t platy this game. Not in 8 years had he felt such a rage. But suddenly something burst through the wall. Asheley found some heroes to answer her call. Ciel Blu, Honoo, Jad and Night were all rarin' for the big fight. Some new guys had also come to do right. Makoto the Dog, balance between the Gaia Light and Dark as well as her boyfriend Joseph, a wolf with lots of heart. There was also Falco the Falcon Bagel Eagle who ate gawmasse everyday and Apallo Solaris, who ate it often but unlike Falco couldn't pull stuff out of hammerspace!...often. And together with their leader Boom, they raced on motorcycles to the lair of Doom. They broke through a wall using their bikes then quickly did a sharp right turn and broke the huge TV. The resulting clash made the lair combust, but everyone escaped without a bruise, burn or cut. Blu: That was convenient! Boom: Just give up Doom, you villainous deviant! We've got you outnumbered, outmatched and outclassed! In shorter words we're going to kick your ass! Night: Oh Boombomb, you're hot when you're man! Ciel: Beat it Night, Boom's not into fa-- Doom: ENOUGH! What makes you think I can be beat. I just killed Boom like, last week! Boom: Well I'm back this time andbetter than ever! Together we can survive any endeavor! We're freed Jimmt from '06 wrath, the scores 1 to 0! What does that make us Blu? Blu: Big Damn Heroes! ...Sir! Boom: And now we're reclaiming this forest as our turf! Doom: Waht a pretty little speech, but it changes no facts. None of you will be kicking any ass! Honoo: Guys please don't cuss you're triggering me! Everyone: ... didn't i banish you to the box Boom: Ignore him guys. He's still in training, not yet an OG. Falco: Don't worry guys! With this new device (assyanked from hammerspace) I'll one hit knockout Doom right in his place. Falco's godmodding device simply wouldn't work. Doom dashed to him, grabbed his color and threw him into the forest dirt. Night: Oh no! What happened?! Why didn't the device work?! Take it's toll? Blu: Simple, it's not JJHero's TP, so he has no Control™ . Falco: (gets back up to his feet and dashes b ack) Ugh, Boom tell your creator to stop godmodding like a hack! Not before long the character's creators dived into a flurry of arguing, nonsense and insults that were quite dirty. But while this commotion went on Jimmy stood tall with aura surrounding him and he yelled to them all: Jimmy: How dare you Doom! Threatening my sister and tricking me with Sonic Boom! Boom: Jimmy, its OK, you-- Jimmy: And you! Trying to steal my fame and my tale! Well no this is MY episode and you just placed the final nail! In the coffin. Of my patience. Jad: (pulls out sword) Dude, that was way longwinded, we just stopped you from being overtaken. But with Jad's remark, Jimmy went off the deep end. The Earth began to shake and cracks met the feet of the 11 friends. If they didn't act fast the entire world could be split, and the terror of Dark Gaia is what all their minds began to get. Makoto: We've gotta act fast and stomp Jimmy! Come on Joseph, hop don't shimmy! Joseph was busy with more pressing matters, staring at Makoto's barely clad body as the Earth's crust began to shatter. Makoto: Ugh, this is no time to be a perv! Joseph: But-but, those nice curves... Makoto: (blushes) Aww, well... Blu: (triumphantly jumps towars Joseph) I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!! But Blu was deflected back to the ground by a barrier. Their situation was slowly hairier . Apallo:A bariar?!Blu Whats it made of? *Down To Blu He Hops* Blu: (confused with swirly eyes) Loli-pop, loli-pop, oh loli, loli-pop... Apallo:Ugh *Touches The Barrier* hmmm....... simple energy barier *tries to absorb* Jimmy: (violently flings him to Boom with great force) Boom: (catches him) Ciel, got any ideas? Ciel: Sorry Boom-Kun D: , but all this pressure is giving me fierce diarrhea! Boom: Never try toilet humor again please. Ciel: ...let's just skip to the sex and cut with the tease. >:) And so during an important event, Boom and Ciel begin to bang. But let's pay attention to the other's in the gang. Makoto: (tries sealing the earth) It's too strong! Jad: (attempts attacking the barrier) Yeah, he must be channeling the power of Druggy Kong! Doom: Yes! Despair as the world falls apart! Asheley: Not today! (jumps to the barrier like a dart) Jimmy, can you hear me?! Jimmy: (overflowing with rage) AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Asheley: Well I don't care, I'm gonna save you...no matter what I have to do. And so Asheley put all her might in her hands, slipped into the barrier and did what she can. She had no plan and now had burning hands but stayed standing up (despite the immense force) and did what she can. She hugged her brother and passionately screamed aloud. "I LOVE YOU JIMMY THIS IS N'T HOW WE GO OUT!". As these words hit him it began to show. The earth quit shaking and the barrier emitted a blinding glow. Asheley had began to get back her bro. But it was far too late, such a powerful force annihilated her instantly just like Tobio. Jimmy lay alone on the cracked Earth and everyone saw there was no girl. Doom: What a splendid show! Looks like little Jimmy will have to fly solo. Jimmy: (looks at Doom with a vicious spark) D-doom, you bas... (faints) Boom: YOU BASTARD! (dashes to Doom) Falco: BOOM, DON'T DO IT, IT'LL BE THE END OF YOU! Doom: (tears his arm off in one fierce blow) Pfft, no duh! Everyone: bruh... (bruh... ) Doom: Anyone else want to go? So ran up Falco. Doom: (uses Boom's arm to decapitate Boom) Falco: B-boom! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS DOOM! YOU WILL BURN IN HELL! Ciel burst into tears and Doom fed on the group's fear. Doom: Oh well, at least I got to see your fearful leers. I leave you with this, no matter what machine, emerald, gun or sword, none shall EVER vanquish Doom the Dark Lord. ZOMGZ NOW I'M CRYING A GREAT DEAL! SCREW ASHELEY'S EARTH SAVING FEAT, BOOM'S BRASH DEATH GAVE ME FEELS!!!!!! I'M OUT, I QUIT NOT EVEN DOING A RHYME I NO LONGER HAVE THE GUTS WITHIN ME! SOMEONE JUST PLAY STARDUST MEMORY...D'OH! here man Alright...I'll be ok...thanks Dan. So after Doom murdered Boom he flew off without a trace. He left everyone with the mentality of a 12 year old (me) with tears on their face. Ciel: S-so where do we go from here. Night: We have to revive Boom! We can't hesitate! We have to have no fear! Falco: And crush Doom and his villainous cheer! Blu: If this sudden seriousness keeps up 1.0b will have a horrible Christmas and a crummy new year... And so this episode has come to an end, and now our heroes must revive their friend. How will Jimmy handle the loss of his sis? How will Boom be given new life (hint hint, it's not true love's kiss). Find out all this and more as we continue the story! Next time on: Chillverse 1.0b! Editor's Note Sorry the episode's late, but I ran into a troublesome fate. Anyway, don't be too concerned due to the "sad" ending, 1.0b will remain doing what it's still intending. To make fun of the hilarities and mishaps in 1.0, so it won't grow into a serious and epic story of the villains and heroes. It'll remain a parody, as it should be, though not all will like this...so watch where you tread your feet. Category:Blog posts